How to Be your Best around your Family (Even When Exhausted!)
How to Be your Best around your Family (Even When Exhausted!)
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If I asked you what’s most important in life, I’m willing to bet you wouldn’t hesitate.
Family is most important, of course!
But are you in the habit of regularly showing them that they are, in fact, your VIPs?
It happens more than we’d like to admit. Even though we’re conscious that our families are our collective Number One – and even though we know we should be prioritizing them over the dishes, the vacuuming + whatever else – it’s often really hard to do so in practice.
It’s sad but true: Sometimes we’re our worst selves around the people we love most.
This week, Ashley Logsdon offers 6 tips to make certain our families always come out on top.
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Tip 1: Schedule marriage time + family time.
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Don’t just assume quality time will happen. Instead, be proactive by actually writing it in on the calendar.
Think about it. In our professional lives, we schedule important meetings. We plan our days around big events.
When it’s written down, we’re “bound” to abide to the schedule.
When it’s on the schedule, it’s unlikely we will forget or blow it off.
Why not enact the same strategy with our families?
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Tip 2: Create a family mission statement.
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Our most important relationships are not the places to be passive.
Instead of parenting and family life just happening – instead of simply reacting to whatever comes – be an active participant.
Here’s how to do the work on the front end:
1. Sit down with your family. Come to a consensus over what’s important. Let everyone’s voice be heard. As a family, do you prioritize adventure? Your culture? God?
2. Determine how, exactly, you’ll make time for quality time + how you’ll make certain your priorities shine.
3. Write it all down in a concise, 2-sentence blurb. Post it somewhere visible. You’ve just created your family’s mission statement! Now strive to fulfill your collective vision.
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Tip 3: Create a family-centered home, not a child-centered home.
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Many families prioritize the children’s needs at the expense of the parents’ marriage.
Abandon the notion of having a child-centered home. Instead, give your marriage equal priority:
With older children, enact The 7 to 7 Rule in which kids head up to their rooms at 7 pm and reemerge at 7:00 the next morning. This strategy allows for couples to recharge as a team.
Prioritize evenings as special time for parents. ‘Special time’ doesn’t have to be fancy; indeed, there’s no need to stay up super late. Strive to do something as a couple that extends beyond vegging out in front of the television.
Often exhausted in the evenings? Me too. Still, find a way to push through. It’s worth it.
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Tip 4: Don’t hold back on the finer things.
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Don’t tell your family they’re the best; show them, instead.
Use the fine china.
Light candles at dinnertime.
Dress up around your kids.
Shine your brightest around your family.
Wherever possible, put in that little bit of extra effort.
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Tip 5: Show gratitude.
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Write Thank You notes for the little things your spouse does to keep the household running.
Write love notes + place them in your child’s lunchbox, just because.
Find a way to be grateful for what is, right now. Ignore what can be or what should be + instead be mindful of the beauty of what is.
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Tip 6: Be wary of the “One-Day Syndrome”.
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Don’t wait to enjoy your life. Enjoy it today.
By the time comes around to actually accomplish what you’ve always been dreaming of, your children will be older. They’ll have different schedules + varying priorities. In the years between today + one day you or your spouse’s health may suffer.
Don’t allow yourself to forget how to enjoy life. Incorporate enjoyment into your daily practice at every turn + encourage your VIP’s to do the same.
