Got Holiday Stress? Don’t Let it Ruin your Christmas
10 Ways to slash into holiday stress
Does holiday stress ruin Christmas, year after year? If so, you’re not alone.
Consider this picture-perfect scenario:
Bare feet pitter-pattering down the hall. Pig piles in Mommy + Daddy’s bed, then bear hugs + smooches.
High-pitched squeals, cheeky grins, and overflowing gifts wrapped in shiny paper – all amidst the backdrop of a twinkling Christmas tree, no less.
When it comes to Christmas, this is what parents’ dreams are made of.
Indeed, mothers + fathers alike desire happy children + that’s why we run ourselves ragged for nearly all of December. The essence of Christmas is joy and love; going “over-the-top” is how we’ve been conditioned to manifest these ideals.
But at what point is “over-the-top” no longer special, but expected?
And when does “over-the-top” quietly become the new normal?
Consider last year’s Christmas at my house.
Ani awoke to quite a spectacle: boxes with shiny bows overflowed the space underneath the tree + nearly spilled into the hallway. There were presents from my husband and me, of course, + dozens from each set of grandparents. There were many more still from her great-grandmother, aunts + uncles.
Ani excitedly opened the first few, first untying the bows then carefully removing the paper. Each gift received wide-eyed wonder.
But Ani grew weary as the morning went on. We paused for breakfast; afterwards, we went back to the unopened presents underneath the tree.
My husband and I shared a look. We knew intrinsically that we would never be able to top this year’s spectacle. I grew anxious at the mere thought of attempting it.
Sometime after lunch, as Ani continued to open gifts but had considerably slowed, I witnessed something heart-breaking: Ani was no longer smiling. Unwrapping so many gifts had left her overstimulated, fatigued.
It was then I realized something had to change.
As it turns out, this scenario is common in many homes on Christmas morning, because we as humans are wired to adapt to that which we are constantly exposed.
Such transience of happiness has been widely studied and even has a fancy name: Hedonic adaptation. While a child will receive bursts of happiness from presents under the tree, his or her joy will quickly, inevitably recede to its original level.
As parents, what do we do?
To the chagrin of advertisers, the answer has nothing to do with purchasing more. Indeed, the answer to hedonic adaptation is actually the opposite:
Return the holidays to its roots. Create the essence of the season – that joy, that love – with fewer, quality experiences.
This year, we are stopping holiday stress before it starts because we are doing Christmas differently. Here are ten ways to scale back.
10 ways to slash into holiday stress:
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1. Buy fewer gifts.
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My daughters will each receive 6 presents, following the Want-Wear-Need-Do-Share-Read model of gifting.
2. Choose a smaller tree.
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A bigger tree may not necessarily bring greater joy. This year we chose a perfectly adequate – albeit smaller – tree.
3. Decorate less.
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I brought up the Christmas boxes, then I considered each decoration within.
I considered the work-to-benefit ratio: How much work would it take to string those lights? Would I make back that time, effort + energy by enjoying them?
In the end, I opted against stringing lights outdoors. I ditched the candles in the windows, too.
Put up only the decorations that you genuinely enjoy looking at; consider decluttering the rest.
4. Prioritize experiences over gifts.
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Rather than purchase gifts presents, my mother, grandmother +sister’s family have agreed to go on a weekend trip instead. The result? My shopping list is slashed to a fraction of what it would have been.
5. Host a smaller dinner.
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I’m lucky: My sister lives around the corner. Together we are splitting this year’s Christmas meal: She’ll serve dinner at her house; I’ll host dessert at mine.
6. Declutter before you give.
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I rounded up old towels, blankets, sheets and stuffed animals + donated them to my local humane shelter.
My oldest daughter + I packed up toys she no longer enjoys and gave them to a nearby preschool.
I’ve been intentional about making space for the onslaught of new stuff my children will inevitably receive over the holidays by giving existing items to worthy recipients.
For a detailed plan on how, exactly, to declutter before Christmas, click here.
7. Attend select gatherings.
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In efforts of slowing down, we have declined a few holiday-related invitations (sorry).
Remember that when you say yes to an obligation, you have to say no to something else. Be selective in the invitations you say yes to, and attend only the ones that bring you joy.
8. Create simpler crafts.
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Ani + I had a blast repurposing items we’ve found in our home into easy holiday crafts. We made wrapping paper, ornaments and a gingerbread (okay, graham cracker) house using often-overlooked stuff we already own.
[Related: 10 of the Easiest DIY Christmas gift ideas.]
9. Skip the mall.
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I get zero enjoyment out of excursions to the mall, especially during this time of year.
In efforts of avoiding the traffic, crowd, and overall craze, I’m making gifts at home.
For the gifts that you simply must purchase? Support local makers or order online, instead.
10. Maintain only treasured traditions (or begin new ones!)
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My mom, sister and I faithfully gather each year to watch our favorite holiday movie (Love Actually).
And this year, as Ani + I attempted to recreate our house from candy, she boldly declared (with mouthful of chocolate) that she wanted to, “do this all the time.”
So I’m hereby making gingerbread house making our new family tradition while bidding adios to the traditions we’ve kept only out of obligation.
In what ways do you manage holiday stress? Share the simplicity in the comments below!
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