The Smart Way to Declutter Sentimental Items
How to declutter sentimental items with purpose
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You listeners often ask me how to declutter sentimental items.
What can be done with a talented family member’s paintings? What about that box of childhood mementos? How about the yellowed wedding dress hanging in the far recesses of the closet?
Although the specific “stuff” in question differs from query to query, the underlying question is always the same: What’s the best way to let go of clutter that’s laced with emotion?
First things first. There’s nothing wrong with keeping sentimental items around; there’s nothing wrong with displaying it, either. If you have a bunch of sentimental stuff – stuff from your childhood, stuff that once belonged to loved ones now deceased – that fills you with joy, love + fullness – then keep these items close.
The problem, however, is when sentimental items hold you down + hold you back.
The vast majority of people I talk to tell me that holding onto sentimental clutter is heavy. Very few listeners tell me that they like keeping sentimental items in their homes + even fewer still report that sentimental clutter makes them happy.
Many of us avoid decluttering this stuff + instead keep them in a box in the attic out of sight. The reason? Opening that box (or boxes!) + facing those emotions is the hardest part of tidying up.
But if your home is overwhelmed with sentimental items, it’s hard to make room for creating new memories in the present.
Here are my 7 best tips for decluttering sentimental items:
1. Make 3 appointments with yourself to declutter sentimental items.
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Put 3 appointments in your calendar, then underline them twice.
Decluttering sentimental stuff is hard. Making 3 appointments ensures you’re going to go back + finish the job.
Your first appointment is to open the box + let out all the feelings. The second appointment is to make decisions about the stuff, + the 3rd appointment ensures that you will responsibly declutter the stuff you’ve decided to let go of.
Recently, I tackled my own box of childhood sentimentals. But before I decluttered a single thing, I first put 3 appointments on my calendar + promised myself I wouldn’t blow them off.
When the first appointment came, I went to the basement, removed the 18-gallon monster from its shelf + opened the lid.
The first items in the box as a Baby’s First Sticker Calendar, a 12-month calendar where both parents write what milestones the baby hit on which day, who visited, et cetera.
I pulled this calendar out of the box + allowed myself to get lost in my first year of life. There were exclamation points all over the thing, from both parents. Nowhere did they mention how exhausted they were or how stressed they were; it felt as though my parents – especially my father – were enamored with parenthood.
Their joy radiated off the pages.
The truth of the matter, however, is that we weren’t all that happy. Just a few years after I was born my father found a new family + left.
When I look at pictures of myself as a young child I find myself staring into the face of an unhappy + vulnerable little girl. When I reread the earliest stories I wrote, I noticed they’re not imaginative or upbeat. Oftentimes, they’re depressing.
If I were to describe my childhood as a whole, I wouldn’t describe it as a happy one. That’s why my childhood box is heavy. There’s an awful lot of sadness in that box.
What’s my point? It’s a good thing I made 3 appointments with myself, because in one hour I had gotten through just one item – that baby calendar – + I was a bawling mess on my basement floor.
I hadn’t actually decluttered a single thing.
Declutter sentimental items with a schedule
The purpose of making a series of 1-hour appointments is that you give yourself the flexibility to work in short bursts.
You also take the pressure off yourself to finish a difficult job in one sitting.
Of course, if you have an awful lot of sentimental boxes, you’re not going to get the job done in 3 appointments. Schedule more sessions as makes sense for the size of your job.
2. Keep one item that represents a collection of items.
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Pare down without guilt by choosing one item to represent many.
Within my box, there were 17 stories I had written.
No need to keep 17 stories! I decided to keep one. And the one I kept was intentional, as it’s one that won an award.
That award-winning story had the ability to represent all 17 stories. Because I kept the best one I felt good about letting the mediocre stories go.
Ask yourself what this may look like in your life with your stuff:
Are you sifting through your grandmother’s china? Perhaps instead of keeping the entire set you reserve just one teacup + one saucer. Either use them or put them in a shadow box on display.
Perhaps you’re working through your deceased mother’s costume jewelry. What’s one piece she frequently wore that you can see yourself frequently wearing? Maybe you keep that once piece to represent the essence of both your mother + her entire collection.
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3. Represent a period of time with an album.
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In my childhood box there was a lot of items from middle school. While I was very motivated to just chuck everything from middle school, I didn’t want to completely erase the time period from my life.
That’s why it made sense to create a small album of only the best items to represent the entire time period.
What did I put inside? My best report card. One particularly funny note a friend had passed me in class. A photo of myself in my 8th grade school play. My Girl Scouts sash.
What could a time period album look like for you?
Perhaps you’re working through items from your wedding. No need to save every invoice from your wedding planning days.
Instead, make an album that represents that entire period. Include photos, a piece of the veil, the groom’s handkerchief, a pressed flower from your bouquet, your invitation.
There it is. You decluttered sentimental items while choosing to keep a small but curated selection of items that represent the BEST of that period.
4. Make a keepsake box.
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Declutter sentimental items by employing the magic of a keepsake box.
I made a small keepsake box with the remainder of my childhood items + I did so with the goal of keeping mementos of only my most valued childhood memories.
Life is too short to hold onto things that make me sad, so I saved only the items that represented the best of me + the best of my past.
The award-winning story went into my keepsake box. My middle school album went into the box. I saved pair of shoes that I once so much I slept in them; I kept my high school and college graduation programs, too.
What did I get rid of? Everything else. School papers. Report cards. That darned baby calendar.
Creating a keepsake box is a particularly powerful way to memorialize a deceased family member. Perhaps you give everyone in your home a keepsake box to for select items of their choosing that once belonged to the deceased member.
The key, though, is to have a clear reason for saving each item in the keepsake box. If you don’t have a reason, you probably don’t value the item as much as you think you do.
When you’re clear about the items you definitely want to keep it makes it easier to let go of the things that aren’t quite as special.
5. Other hints:
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Digitize what you can.
Declutter sentimental items by taking advantage of the digital world we live in. Take photographs of old artwork + store them on your computer. Scan important paperwork. Scan photographs in rough condition, too.
Enlist the help of a buddy if you think a buddy will help.
If you know you’ll need some emotional support, set yourself up for success by arming yourself with a buddy before starting the task.
Try to choose a buddy that’s removed from the sentiment. (A spouse or close family member may not be the best buddy when you declutter sentimental items.)
Remind yourself that your home is a living space for your present life.
Your home isn’t storage space for your past; it isn’t a holding cell for items your children may need one day, either.
Write out this mantra + put it beside you as you work. Let it anchor you to both the present moment as well as your end goal.
Have you decluttered your sentimental items recently?
Know you need to get to work, but have been putting it off? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!
